Tuesday, December 7, 2010


Kistone is broken.

He is always watching, nothing keeps him away. I've had nightmares, and I've never known what a nightmare was, not the kind where you wake up trying to scream but you can't, you just can't make a noise loud enough for anyone to hear.

I've been suspended from school, so I'm stuck at home, alone. I keep seeing Him and there's nothing I can do to stop Him.

I keep my father's sword at my side.

I've developed a really nasty cough, and it hasn't gone away, no matter where I go. I was with my boyfriend and when we cuddled we'd have to stop doing whatever to allow me to try and hack up my lungs.

My life is pretty shitty overall. Ugh.

Averyel, out.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010


I woke up at 1:05 today, and He was standing next to my bed.

I don't know what happened after that. It's all blacked out. It was 5 o'clock when I checked, later. Four hours gone.

I drew Operator symbols on the back of my hands, and on my palms. Too bad I was sleeping cuddled up in a ball.

I'm going to try drawing the symbol on my wall, next. with a sharpie. Maybe that will help.

Nobody believes me, but I felt him touch my arm. Unfortunately, that still doesn't mean He's real..

Sunday, November 28, 2010

I see him.

He's there. My niece can see him, too.

I won't let him take her, he won't get me.

I won't be a victim.

I'll find a way to help


I need to stop reading them. Urgh.

I'm starting to feel sick.. I need to draw. I was supposed to draw earlier, but with this paranoia stuff I'm been distracted.

I'll post of my pictures here. And I'm most certainly not drawing any Operator symbols.

Okay, maybe a few.

Maybe a whole page.

I kinda like them. My symbol is better, though! So I'll maybe I'll draw that instead.

But I have this urge to draw Slendy even though I've never seen him. To make those drawings that victims always have. It'd be neat.

I mean, if I don't draw them it means I'm scared, right? And if I'm scared it means he'd have more power over me, if he existed, which he doesn't. Even though my mind really believe I'm being followed by him. But I'm not, because he doesn't exist, I'm just schizo and I've been reading too many slenderblogs and imagination is running away with me.

I'll just draw my symbol.. then one that's cut on my kistone. If I can even find my sketchbook.

EDIT: I see letters behind letters, they are light blue against the white letters in front of them. I can't read them, but it's unnerving. My computer must be wonky, my book reads perfectly fine.

Also, I have way too much yang energy. Need to release it and maybe find a yin person to balance me out. Kistone must be amplifying everything.


I've decided to name my phantoms.

The Girl With Violet Eyes I'll name Blossom;
The Girl With Steel Eyes I'll name Cobalt;
The Girl with Wolf Eyes I'll name Mere.

Feeling Safe.

Last night was horrible. Matthew stayed on with me the whole time, despite his phone being near dead and his charger broken. There were a few very scary moments, but I'm okay. I got out of the house and to a party with my sister and I was safe. I slept with every light I had in my room on. I left the window open, though. If there is someone following me, I want to know for sure. I kept my kistone by the window, so I think that kept me safe. I keep it in a little baggie in my pocket. It still burns me a little, but it's better than what might happen if I don't have it with me.

I don't know what's going on, but I'll do my best. I've just been really stressed.

I have school tomorrow. I'd best finish up my books today.

Saturday, November 27, 2010


in the hallway

in the lake

he is there

i heard footsteps and im alone

he sees me

i don't want to die